Kao
This is Kao. Kao means grain, rice grain in Thai. She’s 10 months and no she’s not my daughter. I bought this cherry dress and white sweater for Kao. I enjoy buying cloths for her.
At my parent’s apartment, we have a maid, named Mrs. Pranee. She has 1 son and 1 daughter. Nui is her daughter. Mrs. Pranee has been working here for more than 10 years. I saw Nui since she’s a kid. She’s younger than me about 10 years. Kao is Nui’s daughter. Kao is in my family census record for some reasons. My parents support them the diapers, baby foods, baby milk, etc. So I support them on fashion -“-
Kao became our angel here. She likes to smile a lot. Sometimes people like to ask me whether I ever thought about having a baby. I admit I want to have my own child but I can’t. I am lesbian. They like to ask ‘Who will take care of you when you’re old?‘. This question is like FAQ for gay & lesbian. In my view, firstly you have to think ‘Why do you want to have a child?‘ If the famous reason is having someone to look after you when you’re old. I personally take that idea is like an invesment. You will give hope and expect your child to be what you want. To get high education. To get high salary so he/she can support you when you’re old.
It’s a risky business, don’t you think? What if, your son/daughter doesn’t want to look after you when you’re old and send you to a almshouse? What if, your son/daughter dies before you? What if, your son/daughter got bad illness and not be able to look after you but you gotta look after him?
You can’t expect the future to be. I am not afraid of life when I am old. I niether don’t want to adopt a child because I am afraid him/her will be teased by their friends that he/she has gay parents. Thai society is not ready for that. For this case, I could give love and care without being an owner or want something in return.
I would love to give Kao high education without asking her to use my last name, or take her from her family, or teach her to love me, or tell her to take care of me when I am old. I only want to give when I can.
Sometimes I think gay/lesbian could support so many children who were abandoned by straight people. It’s the balance of the society.
